Ben's Funeral

Funeral director, Claire, my mom, Sara and my dad.  Photo courtesy of my cousin, Stephanie.

 Yesterday (Tuesday, February 11, 2013) was Ben's funeral.  It was a very bittersweet day, to say the least. The spirit was overwhelmingly strong, and I felt Ben's arms wrap around me at one point, giving me the strength and comfort I so desperately needed which was so sweet and amazing.

But at the same time, it was incredibly difficult watching them close the casket for the last time, knowing that we would not see him again in our earthly life.

Following the casket out of the church into the hearse and then watching them lay it over his new resting place was also very, very difficult.

Words cannot express how much I will miss Ben.  It's been nearly a week since he passed away now, and it still seems so surreal.  I still expect that it was all just a dream and any moment I will hear from him, or go visit him.

The funeral definitely brought it into reality more though, and today has also been difficult.  As I've heard so many who have lost a sibling/close loved one tell me, "It doesn't really ever get easier" and I don't suspect it will.

Sara's good friend caught this candid moment of Sara saying her final goodbye to Ben, right before they closed the casket.  It just breaks my heart.  Sara is the most incredible, loving, selfless person I have ever met.  She loves Ben more deeply than I have ever seen someone love, and Ben's love for her was the same.  

To honor Ben's love of Jeeping, we had a "Jeep Procession" or "21 Jeep Salute".  So many people showed up in their Jeeps, some without their roof on, in the freezing cold weather.  Luckily, a friend took these following pictures at the cemetery so we had some documentation of it.  This is not all the Jeeps, just the few they happened to get a picture of.  It was amazing standing back and watching the Jeeps roll in.  It was a nice, loud, engine roaring entrance to the cemetery for our sweet Ben, and I know he loved every second of it.

Leading the Jeep procession was my dad, driving Ben's truck and towing Ben's scrambler that he worked so hard on.  I remember him being in so much pain, and not able to do much.  But I would go out in my dad's garage and Ben had somehow climbed up in the back of the scrambler and was slowly and meticulously laying a bed liner.  What he wouldn't do for his fun toys.

Sara is in a bagpipe band, and asked her good friend to come and play while they carried the casket to the grave site.  She also played 'Amazing Grace'...which brought many tears.

Another picture my cousin, Stephanie, captured of Sara and my mom, saying their goodbyes to a boy that deeply impacted their lives.

I know that life will go on, and we will be okay.  

But I also know it will be very hard, and we will miss him every day.

"Grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning." Elder Lance B. Wickman.

I love you Ben!