Kid Funnies - Conversations

Conversations between the kids:

The girls were helping my mom with some yard work one morning, and the following happened:

Grandma:  "You want to pull these weeds here, not the ones with the buds on them."

Claire:  "Okay."

-Brielle comes over-

Claire:  "Brielle, we pull these weeds, don't pull the ones with the boobs on them."

Grandma:  "Um....not boobs, buds."

Claire:  "Ooooohhhhhh.....okay."

Claire: [Watching TV] Why are there still Pioneer commercials?  Pioneer day is over, what's so important about pioneers?

Brielle:  Ugh...it's because it's your last chance, the pioneer deals can last for a LONG TIME!

During lunch, Claire got up from the table and stood in front of Addison, looking as though she was going to make an announcement.

Claire:  "Okay, Addison, I have something I'm going to tell you that is very important.  Jesus is the Great Shepherd, and we are all his sheep."

Addison:  "Yes!  Jesus save me!" 

Kid Funnies - Addison

Addison:

I like to ask Addison things like, 'Who's cute?' or 'Who's awesome?', to which she will normally answer "Addison is cute/awesome!".  I must also note that if you call her anything other than her name without it being her idea, she ALWAYS says, "No, I ADDISON!".  Anyway, I had this conversation with her:

Me:  "Who's pretty?"

A:  "Brielle pretty."

Me:  "Yes, Brielle is pretty.  But is Addison pretty?"

A:  "No, I not pretty, I AWESOME!"

Addison is apparently a one-upper.  Brielle had a scrape, and for the next hour Addison kept saying things like: "The mighty machines [construction equipment] smash me!", "A monster ate me!", "The car boom me!". She was also pretending to be very sad and saying "Ow, ow, ow, ow".

We were eating dinner, which was some enchiladas with black beans in them, when Addison said:  "Ewwww....black beans gross!  Black beans have bums!  Yucky bums."  (I guess they do have a "crack" down the middle.)

I heard a small crash, and Addison came over to me smiling quite mischievously:

Me:  "What did you do?"

Addison:  "I don't know" - Still smiling like a crazy person

Me:  "You don't know what you did?"

Addison:  "No."

Me:  "Well...what happened?"

Addison:  "I don't know.......Hey, look at Molly!  She cute!"

-How does she already know how to distract someone from what's going on?  

Claire was reading a book that had 'glass' spelled out.  So at lunch, she said, "Mom, I wanted a, g-l-a-s-s, of milk."  Addison was sitting by her and said, "Mom, I want a, s-a-o-e-i-e-i-h, of milk too!"

Addison was climbing all over Marty, and he said, "You better stop or you're going to be in trouble, little lady."  Addison replied with, "No, YOU in trouble, big lady."

Kid Funnies - Claire

Claire:

"Hey mom, guess what?  I don't pick my nose anymore!"  **Sticking her fingers up her nose** "I"m just trying to keep my boogers in."

We got home from running an errand and Claire went to get out of the van on the street side.  I told her to be really careful, because cars could be coming.

Claire: "Don't worry mom, I'm even faster than one of the 12 apostles."

Me:  (A little surprised, and laughing) "Oh?  Are the apostles fast?"

Claire:  "Yep, I had a lesson in church where an apostle was commanded by someone to run across the street fast so he wouldn't get hit by a car, but he still got bumped."

Me: " ........Uh......"

- Apparently there was a story of one of the apostles as a child that was dared by a friend to prove he was fast by running across the street even though a car was coming.  I guess they got bumped by the car anyway.  At least this is what Brielle told me when I was confused by Claire.

"Mom, the ants LOVE me because I'm feeding them!  They're, like, chasing me and climbing on me because they love me so much."

Claire: "Mom, I didn't know the nostrils were upside down, so I accidentally dumped the crumbs in the sink."

Me: "......uh....what?"

Claire:  "I didn't know the nostrils were upside down, so when I picked them up I think all the crumbs dumped in the sink."

Me:  "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Claire:  "You know, those nuts with shells that Addison likes to eat?"

Me:  "Oh...those are called pistachios."

Claire:  "Oh, yeah, I didn't know what they were called.  I didn't know the bag was upside down and I picked it up, the crumbs dumped out."

Me:  "Oh, okay, that makes a little more sense."

.....and later....

Claire:  "Addison, I found those nuts you like.  You know, the....uh....spidashios."

Kid Funnies - Brielle

I realize I just posted yesterday about our Summer Fun...but I'm getting tired of that consuming my blog.  There's only 3 weeks left, and while at the beginning of the summer it seemed like a great idea to do these activities and document them...now that we're winding down, I'm getting sick of it - if I'm being completely honest.  My motivation to do activities, take pictures and blog about it is dwindling.  SO...for a little pick-me-up, I decided it was high time to post some Kid Funnies.

These are always some of my favorite blog posts...we are definitely due for more!

So, this week I will be posting kid funnies - one kid at a time - so that I can have some good laughs, as well as anybody still reading this blog (blogs are a fading trend it seems...good thing this is for my own personal family history).

Enjoy!

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Brielle:

We were getting ready to start a movie one night and I was finishing up checking something on my iPad.  Brielle was watching over my shoulder asking a million questions, and I told her to go sit down to watch the movie.  Marty told her, "Tonight is movie night, not iPad night." to which she responded, "Well, then when is iPad night?  Because that sounds fun!"

Brielle woke up one morning about 6:00 calling for me, because she had a bad dream.  I went in to get her and she asked to come to my bed.  I took her with me, but told her that she would have to be very quiet since Molly sleeps in our room.  She complied.  Later that morning she said, "It's a good thing I'm not deaf and have to do sign language, because it would be really hard for you to hear me if I woke up from a bad dream, since sign language is silent."  HA HA HA...my mom said, "It would be hard for your mom to hear you doing sign language?"  Brielle just said "Yep" like it was no big deal.  Then she added "But, then I would have been able to tell her about my dream without waking up Molly, since sign language is silent."

One day after church:  "Dad, what DID the pioneer children sing as they walked and walked?"

"A show I was watching said it's never too early to start planning for Christmas...so can I make my list now?"  

The Dangers

The dangers of having 3 older sisters:

I left the room for just a minute to change the laundry.  When I came back, Molly was wearing these bunny ears, and holding the baby monitor while the older girls stood in her room talking and singing to her through it.

Being the youngest of 4 girls could be an interesting life for Miss Molly!

Internal Laughter

*This is just too funny not to blog...I know I put it on Facebook, but I have to document it on here as well*

The other morning, Claire came into my room when she woke up and was sitting on the end of my bed chatting with me.  As is typical with Claire, she always makes me laugh.  

The winning conversation that morning went like this:

"Hey, mom, guess what?  I can laugh inside my head!"

***Silently staring at me for a good 30 seconds***

"See?!  Pretty awesome, huh?"

I, of course, was thoroughly impressed by her awesomeness.

Prouder Parents

I think it has been well established on this blog that conversations with Claire are always entertaining.

(Like her glasses?  They're fake glasses frames that she insists on wearing and says without them she can't see.  She is even insisting she needs them for school. This girl...)

So I give you another one.  

You're welcome.

Claire:  Max (name was changed, but it's a boy in her preschool) likes the color green.  His coat is green and Army color, and he likes Army guys.

Me:  Oh, did you tell him your daddy was an Army guy?

Claire:  No, because daddy isn't an Army guy.

Me:  Not anymore, but he used to be.  Did you tell Max that?

Claire:  No.  Daddy isn't an Army guy, he's a doctor guy.

Me:  Uh...not exactly.  He works on hospital equipment, but he isn't a doctor.

Claire:  Well, I really hope when daddy grows up to be a grandpa, you and him can be doctors.  Because then your parents would be REALLY proud of you.

Me:  Oh yeah?  You don't think they're already proud of us?

Claire:  Well...they are proud of you, but they'd be even prouder of you if you and daddy were doctors, and if you worked.

Me:  So they'd be more proud of me if I worked?

Claire:  If you worked as a doctor, yes.

Me:   Hmm...I'll see what I can do.