Addison Funnies II

I was going back through some old drafts I had started for blog posts and never actually posted, and found this one...thought I'd share.  Some of these are a couple months old or so, but still funny. Love my crazy Addison!

Addison asked how the baby got in my belly.  I hate that question.  Anyways, I told her that I had an egg in my belly that is growing into a baby.  She said, "What?!  That is just weird, that can't be the real truth!"  So I asked her how she thought it got in there and she said, "Well, I don't know.  Is it like the eggs we eat?"  I told her no, it's a special kind of egg.  Her response was, "Oh, well I bet it is probably poisonous."

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"If you aren't nice to others, others won't be nice to you.  But if others are nice to you, then you be nice...to ME!"

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Addison: What are you making? Is that chili?

Me: No, I'm putting chicken in the crock pot for dinner.

Addison: What? That is NOT chicken.

Me: Yes it is.

Addison: Are you sure it's not turkey? You know, some turkey is made out of chicken.

Me: Uh...no, I'm sure it's chicken.

Addison: Well...is it chicken cluck, cluck, or the chicken that you eat?

Me: It's the chicken that we eat.

Addison: OK.

Apparently she hasn't figured out that "chicken cluck, cluck" becomes chicken that you eat.

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(You have to pay attention to the spellings of quite and quiet to get this)

Addison: Mom, is it time for preschool yet?

Me: It's not quite time yet.

Addison: It's not quiet time?

Me: No, I didn't say quiet, I said quite. It's not quite time.

Addison: So preschool is after quiet time?

Me: No, it just isn't time yet.

Addison: So I don't get quiet time today?

Me: Uh...I guess not. It's not time for preschool, you'll go later.

Addison: So preschool is at quiet time?

Me: Sure Addison...sure.

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Addison got to paint an egg at preschool for her Easter party.  When she brought it home, Claire and her were convinced there was a real baby chick inside, because Claire put a flashlight up to it and could see "something" in there.  (Claire's school class recently hatched chicks in an incubator...she is now the chick expert).  They were so thrilled that they had a real, live baby chick egg.  Addison said, "I'm going to go sit on it to hatch it and if it pecks my bum, then we'll know it's real!"  She claims it pecked her bum.  I had to break it to them that it's just a hard boiled egg, not a real live chick.

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Addison was in the living room - supposedly fulfilling a time out.  We heard her start playing the piano, so I said, "Uh...you're not supposed to be playing the piano, your bum is supposed to be on that chair in there."  She said OK, and then a minute later said "My bum is now on the chair!" but we heard the piano again. Marty went to catch her in a lie, and she had dragged the chair over to the piano and was playing it again.  She said, "What?  My bum is in the chair."  She's a stinker.

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Listening to Addison talk to Molly, thinking how sweet they are as she's saying "I like you Molly, I always have fun with you."  Then she giggles and says "Booger?" while holding a booger up to Molly trying to offer her a bite.  REALLY?

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Addison: Mom, I have a sore on my chest. 
Me: You do? How did you get it? 
Addison: Probably from sitting on the toilet too long.

Of course...that makes perfect sense.

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We were sitting in a movie theater, and a baby started crying

. Addison looks over at me shocked and says "Is that your belly crying?!" I laughed and told her no, there's a baby crying in the theater. She says "Oh, it sounded like a baby boy, so I thought it was coming from your belly."

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Addison is pretty smooth. She has been coming into my bed during the night a lot lately, and I'm trying to get her to stop. She came in again last night, and I kind of sighed, ready to try and get her to go back to her room. But before I could say anything, she says; "Mom, I know I'm not supposed to come in here, and I tried really hard to stay in my bed, but I just was too scared. But look, we can just talk about this in the morning." Then she laid down on Marty's side and went to sleep. I just let it go, because how do you respond to that?

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Addison: Mom, I love you but...well, I just don't know what to say.
Me: OK?
Addison:  I mean, I love you, but I just don't know what I'm going to say.
Me: OK, do you need something.
Addison:  Well, um...let me think...oh yes, I'm sick.  I need medicine.
Me: Well, you don't have a fever, so I can't give you medicine.
Addison: Well, I don't have a hot fever, I think I have a poo fever that makes my poop hurt.
Me:  A poo fever?
Addison: Yes, a poo fever makes your poop hurt and makes you throw up.
Me:  Well, please don't throw up.
Addison:  Actually, that's not what fever I have.  I have a metal tecklace fever.
Me: Metal tecklace?
Addison: Yes, it means my hip hurts.
Me:  Sounds serious...guess you should go relax.
Addison:  OK.