New Kid Funnies

I don't have a TON of kid funnies to share, but some that I definitely want to remember.   Our kids constantly keep us laughing!

Enjoy!

(If you are on Facebook, you've heard most of these already.)

ADDISON:

Driving home one day, I heard Addison yell, "Hey!  GIVE ME BACK MY BOOGER!!"  Why did someone have your booger in the first place?  Her and Claire then had a nice big argument/fight over who really had her booger, and getting it back to its rightful owner.  Gross!

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"Mom, I love to eat.  And I love you.  And I love to let you bake my food.  I love you so much that I will FREAK OUT that you're my mom.  And I promise I won't hate you."

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Addison was on the toilet and I heard her call out, "Mom, I think I just popped out an egg!"

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Addison: Mom, what's that dark stuff on yours eyes?

Me: It's eyeshadow.

Addison: You mean it's makeup?
Me: Yep.
Addison: Oh...it makes you look like a hipster.
Me: (How does she even know that word?) Oh yeah? What do you think a hipster is?
Addison: They wear dark makeup, and sing like this [she then did a rap version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star].

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"I love my heart. I want to keep it in my body." 

CLAIRE:

The girls were in the bathroom brushing their teeth one night. Addison was obviously bothering Claire and getting in her way, because we heard Claire yell, "What? You want my teeth to be all gross and rotten, and you want my breath TO KILL YOU?!"

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Claire: Mom, this show we saw had some bad words. They said the D and the S word.

Being a little unsure if she really knows what those words are, I decided to ask her to elaborate. 

Claire: Well....[looking embarrassed and whispering] they said 'dumb' and 'stupid' and one time, they even said 'shut up'. 

Got to love a child's innocence.

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Claire was grilling me one day all about going to college, and wondering why it's important, how long it takes to get a degree, why you need a degree and why I didn't go - if it's as important as I was telling her it is.  I did my best to explain why it's important and that even though I didn't get a degree before getting married or having kids, that at some point I'd like to.  She thought for a second, and then casually said, "Yeah...., I think I will just tell my boyfriend or husband that he has to go to college so that I don't have to."  I see my efforts failed.

BRIELLE:

I asked Brielle to get dressed one day during the summer, and told her she was the only one still not dressed.  She looked at me and said, "Uh...you're still in your pajamas.  So I'm not the only one."  Touche Brielle...Touche.

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At SEP conferences (parent/teacher conference) last week, Brielle's teacher said that Brielle is a "model student". When we got home, Marty asked how the SEP went and Brielle excitedly said, "My teacher says I'm a model!!" She was a little crushed when we explained that "model student" isn't the same as "fashion model"

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Addison asked me where the tooth fairy lives. I told her I wasn't really sure. So Brielle jumped in and said she thinks the tooth fairy lives on a cloud in the sky that never goes away. There are thousands of tooth fairies and they jump from the cloud when someone loses a tooth. She was going on and on about this whole fantasy land (that she - luckily - still believes in).

Addison said: "No, giants live in clouds."

Brielle looked at her like that was the dumbest thing she's ever heard and said: "Addison, really? Giants aren't real."

Apparently there's a limit on imagination.