Homesick

Lately, I have started to feel what I can only describe as homesick.

It seems strange to feel that way, since technically we are "home" in Utah and living in the house I grew up in.  But as I look around at my parent's house, I can't help but feel homesick for our home, and our things.  Things that me and the girls haven't seen since last summer.

• Our big couch with the tear in one of the seams of the coveted chaise lounge.
• Our ottoman that was home to many "hide and seek" games.
• Our big shaggy red rug that dyes our white socks pink if we walk on it too much. (Our white dog we used to have would end up with pink paws also.)
• Our little kitchen table that we barely squish around.
• Our hand-me-down bed and dresser (although a new bed would be nice)
• Our glider rocking chair complete with stains from baby spit up...how sad that I've never held Molly in that chair!  The changing table and crib are also missed.  All my babies have made their mark on these things, except Molly. 
• Our mismatched plastic plates and cups...even though they always made me a little embarrassed when we would have company over for dinner.
• Our framed pictures...like time standing still with my kids yearly pictures not having been updated, and no pictures of Molly framed.
• My digital crockpot, broken handle and all.
• The kids bikes, scooters, power wheel and Cozy Coupe car.
• Our huge collection of children's books. 
• My "Walmart special" curtains.

I could go on and on, but it's making me a little sad.

I feel like we're on quite a roller coaster ride right now (not that we haven't been on one for a while) as we start the process of figuring out the "what next" in our story.  We have started looking into buying a house - a goal that we thought was YEARS away, but suddenly seems much closer.

I find it both terrifying and exciting to think about.  Are we really ready for this?  Do we really have a choice?  When will it happen and where will we end up?  Are we going to finally be able to put down roots and not keep up our pattern of moving every year?

I know, "Home is Where the Heart Is", and I am SO glad to at least have my little family together, and equally grateful for my parents who have been so generous through all of this.

But I just can't wait to take our life off hold and be moving forward again.
Although the waiting may just kill me.