Re-joining Our Old Life

I feel like my blog has been pretty "feeling" centered lately.  It's all revolving around us moving, my pregnancy or anything that I'm "feeling".  How boring is that?

Well, as much as I wished I had something fun to write about, I don't.  I have more feelings.  

Sorry.

Things on the whole moving home front are settling down.  A few of the questions from my last post have been figured out and have started falling into place, so maybe we'll survive after all.  I know it was a close call.

I decided I had two choices: 
1. Kick it into high gear and get this moving/de-cluttering/organizing/packing stuff done.

2. Give up and go home to Utah leaving it all behind.

Obviously I went with the smart choice.  #2. 

Me and the girls are heading home this Friday, leaving everything behind.  Marty is encouraging it, assuring me the movers will handle everything and it will all be okay. 

I personally am happy with this decision.

Here are some things I will NOT miss:
- Stalker neighbor boy. 
- Wood floors throughout the WHOLE house.
- Having just one bathroom.
- Grumpy Washingtonians (yes there are nice people...but the grumpy ones stick out more)
- Traffic no matter what time of day it is.
- Military health care. (Great on the wallet.  But the hoops to jump through get old)
- Rain.  Enough said.
- Not knowing where anything is.
- Missing out on family birthday's, party's, get together's.
- Family missing out on our kids growing up.

Things I WILL miss:
- Friends. Seriously, there will be tears shed.
- The personal growth and family closeness we have experienced being "on our own".
- The Shoppette.  Open 24/7 for those late night cravings.
- Diversity. (Definitely leaving more open minded.)
- Being able to get to the grocery store, doctor's office, gas station, restaurants, school, parks, post office, bowling alley, movie theater etc. within 5 minutes.  Living on base is VERY convenient.  
- Marty being able to be home for the majority of our appointments to help with babysitting.

Like any other move any other person has ever done, it will be bitter sweet.  I know I'm not the first to feel this way, and I know I won't be the last.  

But we're talking about ME here...because that's what I do.

So time to dust off my people skills, my sassy pants, and my party attitude.  Because we're trying to get back to our "old lives" here pretty soon, and I'm not sure I still know how to do it!  

But I'm excited to try.

From Anxious to Anxiety in the blink of an eye

*Please excuse me as I embark on a little keyboard therapy*

It's funny how something you have been counting down days towards can suddenly turn from being something that you're anxious to do, to something that is causing you anxiety in the blink of an eye.

I have been anxiously hoping for time to move faster so we can finally get our family back to Utah.  But now that the time really is fast approaching...still without an exact date...it's causing me a bit of anxiety.  

We've just been told it could be as soon as 10 days.  Now I don't mean Marty could have orders in 10 days and then we'd have a month or so to move, I mean that when he does get his orders, we have 7 days to leave.  SEVEN DAYS!  I don't know how to go from wondering when we're going to move to having 7 days to do it.

So we have no way of REALLY planning, since we don't know when the orders will come, just that they keep saying "soon".

Some anxiety inducing questions:

What are we going to do when we get back to Utah? (pretty broad...but really, what are we going to do?)

Will Marty be able to start immediately at his job or will there be a gap causing a gap in pay checks?

Will I be able to smoothly transition to doing my job from my parent's house or will I have to take a large amount of time off to get things set up?

Will insurance kick right in at Marty's job so I can get into an OB quickly?

If Marty is able to get a better job, will the insurance have a long probationary period before starting?

Where are we going to live?

Where is Brielle going to go to school?  Do we just put her in at the elementary by my parent's (since we'll be there while we figure stuff out for a little bit), put her in the elementary with her cousins just down the street the other direction from my parent's, or decide where we WANT to live and drive her to school every day?

Are we going to feel settled before our baby comes?

Are we EVER going to feel settled again? 

Is my body going to hold out during all this or will I start into the horrible sciatic nerve/hip pain soon?  (Okay, that's not really about the move...but it is causing me a little anxiety!)

We have averaged 1 move per year since we've been married, which has been 7 years.  Moving back to Utah and bunking up at my parent's house will be move 8.  Then of course there's moving from there to wherever we end up...move 9...all within this year.  It's exhausting just thinking about it.

So while I'm very excited to be back in Utah with family and familiarity...I am feeling very anxious about the what now? and the unknowns.

Luckily I know the Lord has a definite hand in our lives, we have seen it countless times before, and we know things will work out in the end.  

I just have to have faith to not go crazy in the meantime.

A little me and an overdue thank you.

Since I know people are really checking into this blog to hear about ME and only me...I will happily oblige and give you what you are in search of.

Plus, it's kind of my favorite topic to write about.  

(As long as it's in sarcastic tones.)

I don't know about those who have blazed the trail before me, but for some reason this fourth pregnancy is kicking my trash!  I'm not more sick, not more hormonal, not in more pain.  But I am BEYOND tired. I don't know that any amount of sleep would make me feel less tired, and I'm pretty sure this level of exhaustion while exerting little to no energy has never been achieved.

And as much as I am enjoying all this talk about me, I really HAVE to divert your attention to what I REALLY wanted to write about.  I know, I sucked you in thinking you were going to read a nice big post all about yours truly only to fool you.  

But alas, it must be done.

What I REALLY wanted to write about was Marty.  I owe him a HUGE thank you for all that he does.

(Including enduring a frilly daddy daughter dance with the girls and living to tell about it.)

If there's one thing Marty LOVES (not to be confused with loathes), it's attention and hoopla directed towards him.  So I'm going to make that a reality today and brag about how fantastic he is.

Marty is seriously the best husband ever!  If it weren't for him I'm not sure our kids or house would be surviving right now. As tiring as this pregnancy has been so far, it seems like Marty has just gotten better and better at it, picking up the slack without saying a word.  I haven't heard him complain once about the added responsibilities he has willingly taken over, and really he would have EVERY right to complain, because I am not the funnest pregnant lady to live with. (I know this seems shocking since I'm so incredibly delightful in all my interactions with people.)

There are many days that Marty is not only being the fun, crazy, silly dad, but is also taking over many of the mom "responsibilities".  

-Some days his relaxing lunch break/nap on the couch turns into feeding the girls and doing dishes.

-Some days he comes home from a long day of work and happily offers to cook dinner if I haven't.

-His Saturday's to catch up on sports, reading or sleep have turned into doing all the grocery shopping, errands, yard work and making sure the "chores" get done around the house.  (Although I did go grocery shopping a few days ago...I'm trying to get back into normal life.)  

-Some nights he takes over all the baths and bedtimes with the kids.

-His evenings to veg in front of the TV have turned into late night runs to the gas station for some strange craving I have.  

And you know what...he always does it all with a smile.  

I don't know how he does it. 

Today I fell asleep on the couch while he was home for lunch, and of course, in true Marty fashion, while I was asleep he put Addison down for a nap and kept the other girls busy and told them not to bother me  

(I really didn't mean to fall asleep, I swear!)

But when I woke up, something dawned on me.  

Here and there Marty will throw out a little "Maybe this baby should be our last" type comment.  I usually just roll my eyes.  I have always assumed he said this because he worries the stress of raising and caring for any more than 4 kids would just be too much for him. 

But I think I was wrong.  I have decided he COULD handle more kids. 

It's another pregnancy that might put him over the edge. 

Poor Marty....he really got the short end of the stick.

I guess the good news is the nausea seems to be slowing down and I'm feeling a little better and have started trying to pick back up my end of the responsibilities.  Unfortunately the nausea seems as though it is being replaced with raging hormones, and all I want to do is cry all day.  

Marty just can't win!

So, thank you SO much Marty!  You're sure a peach, and our little family is SO lucky to have you!

(And all those other babies waiting to come to our family are lucky too. ;) )

Addison Update (3 months in the making)

I really just wanted to document/update about Addison for my own records.  I know these type of posts aren't that exciting, but sometimes it's good for me to be able to look back and see how much things have changed so I can get a good perspective.

Back in March I wrote this post about Addison and how I was concerned about her being behind with her speech thanks to a LONG winter full of ear infections and how we had gone ahead with getting her tubes, hoping for improvement.

So now that we're a little over 3 months out from her tubes, her speech is taking off, and it makes me so happy!

Before her tubes she was saying about 8 or 9 words.

Her current list is closer to 40 (I lost count, missed some and she adds a new one every day it seems): hi, mama, daddy, thank you, uh-oh, wow, what's that (wu zat), Cuh (for sisters) Lizzy, see ya, night, binky (ginky), blanky (ganky), done/all done, gone, doggie (goggie), outside (owside), go, shoes, ow (like owie), stinky, ew (like gross), eyes, nose, whoa, belly, good job (goo jah), yah, yay, no, drink, okay, Elmo (la la, because of the song), oh, hello, what.

It's amazing how FAST a little child picks up on things.  I would say even more notable to us above her increasing vocabulary is that her comprehension has EXPLODED.  Before the tubes she didn't seem to pay a whole lot of attention to us and didn't follow any directions.  While she still doesn't follow a whole lot of directions thanks to a stubborn streak, she understands us and will go get things we ask her to find, she will put things back that she gets out, answers questions like "where is your head?" etc.

So...I know this is starting to come across as a "Look how smart my baby is!" type post.  But this is just simply because looking back at where we were three to four months ago with her versus now is basically a completely different child, and it's amazing!  I am so happy I pushed for the tubes and listened to my mother's intuition when other people were telling me to avoid it and to use more "natural" remedies for her ear infections.  The thing that natural remedies couldn't do was remove all the built up gunk and scar tissue that was lodged down in her ear canal making her hearing bad.  

I will never regret getting her tubes.  It's opened up a whole new world to her, and she is SO much happier now than she has ever been.  Which is so wonderful to see as a mother.  Sure she's till crazy and a dare devil and has put a good chunk of gray hair on my head (seriously...I'm too young for gray hair!), but she is cheerful, social, outgoing, talkative and wonderful.

Some pictures of Addison now:

She insists on wearing this helmet basically every day.  She was also wearing a backpack and a black headband as a necklace in this particular picture.

I have had ONE person tell me she looks exactly like me, but I'm pretty sure it's just because of her curly hair.  (For some reason people tell me I look like people who also have curly hair...even when our faces look NOTHING alike.)

A little cleaning before bed.  I took half the handle off the Swiffer so she doesn't keep trying to use my broom, which was sure to end in stuff being broken.

Addison was being quiet in the play room, so I thought for sure she was up to no good.  When I went to check on her, she had climbed in this doll stroller, picked up a baby doll and was sucking on it's fake plastic binky.  She is such a ham.

I just adore our little Addison and am so grateful she's in our family!