Advice for a new mom...

I have a cute niece who just had her first baby yesterday, a baby girl!  I'm so excited for her to enter into this new, crazy phase of life. I was feeling so bummed that I couldn't be there for her baby shower, so I wrote a letter with words of advice to send to her.  I thought about it for a few days, trying to come up with things that I felt were important, but not pushy.  Things I would have liked to have somebody tell me before having my first baby.  I had many, many nurses tell me after having Brody, "You're the expert on this, I should probably ask YOU how to do this."  or "You know what to do...just let me know if you want my  help."  or "You could write a book on this!"  And while I do NOT feel like an expert, I'd say I'm more of  a crazy person, I guess after 5 babies...this is what I think all new moms should know.  There are so many polarizing issues out there...sometimes going back to the basics is important.

Advice for a New, First Time Mom:

• ·         People are going to give you SO MUCH ADVICE.  Only listen to them if you feel like it’ll work for you.  (Except for my advice I’m giving you…it’s obviously the best advice you’ll ever get.)  Everybody thinks they’re an expert on babies…truth is, only YOU will know the right way to take care of your sweet baby.  Trust yourself.  Just throw out those baby books (after you read them for a few tips) and smile and nod when people tell you how to raise your baby, then pick that sweet girl up and love her how you know she needs to be loved.  She’ll let you know what she needs, you just have to pay attention.  If you have all the advice running through your mind making you worry if you’re doing it right, you may miss it.

• ·         Baby blues is a real thing, and it may scare you.  There might be times where you’ll stop and think “I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!”  or “Why am I crying again??” But you know what…it passes.  And although NOBODY talks about it, we all experience it.  Just take a deep breath, eat a piece of chocolate and go ahead and have a good cry.  I like crying in the shower…you know…in case you wanted to know.  Maybe that was weird…MOVING ON…

• ·         When you feel like you might just lose your mind, find something to laugh about.  Laughter is the best medicine!  Even try laughing at your own situation.  The image of yourself, not having showered for a couple days (or a week…or you won’t even remember WHEN you last showered) covered in spit up, poop, pee, milk etc. will someday be funny.   It probably won’t feel funny in the moment, but if you at least try to laugh about it, it may help ease the transition.

• ·         On that same note…don’t expect to shower or sleep ever again.  Or eat.  Or go to the bathroom.  Or have a life.  I’M KIDDING!  (kind of…)

• ·         Let people help you!  You need to take time for yourself.  Even if it’s a 20 minute shower, a quick trip to the grocery store or a walk around the block.  Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.  Sometimes just a shower, doing your hair and makeup and getting out of pajamas will do wonders for your mood, even if you’re just going to sit on the couch holding the baby. 

• ·         Babies cry…sometimes for no reason.  That’s all I have to say about that.

• ·         Don’t fall into the slippery slope of comparing your baby to others.  You’ll inevitably run into someone who says their baby was crawling by 2 months, potty trained by 6 months, reciting Shakespeare by 9 months, and a concert pianist by 12 months.  You’ll look at your baby and think “Wait, my baby is still involuntarily hitting herself in the face!” and worry if you’re doing something wrong.  But ALL babies are different and do things at different times…and that other mom is probably a liar. 

• ·         Take a lot of pictures.  Because they grow up so fast, and you’ll look back and be so glad you documented it.

• ·         Finally…ENJOY this new phase.  ENJOY the sweet baby.  Try to remember that she is fresh from Heaven and is such a gift.  She will drive you batty and frustrate you to no end at times, but she is such a precious gift.  PRAY for help every day to know how to best raise her.  

Just take it one day at a time, because as cliché as it sounds, they really do grow up in the blink of an eye!

Good luck!!