Made up memory: Trail-Head Breakfast

L-R: Mom, Emily, Aspen, Camille, Ben

In 1995, we were on one of many trips to Canyonlands and Moab. 

It was a beautiful spring morning, with a slight chill in the air.  We were looking forward to the sun finally peeking out over the mountains to warm our cold, tired bodies.

We had learned early on to always dress in layers, because a Moab morning could be cold, but a Moab afternoon may cook you like bacon.  I always secretly giggled at the sight of us all with sweatshirts, blankets, gloves and hats paired with a ragged pair of shorts.  We were the absolute epitome of true Utahn's.  Always wearing shorts unless it was a blizzard out.

I imagine Ben and Dad were anxious to get on the trail and start the fun, as well as wanting to give us ample time to take side trails and run obstacles over and over to see how the Jeep would flex and crawl, always completely enthralled with the power of a machine they had customized with their own blood, sweat and tears.

The rest of us sleepily agreed to go.

This meant packing in our breakfast...not our usual routine.  Most of the time we would make a yummy dutch oven breakfast at camp, eat, clean up and head out.

But knowing Ben and Dad, they wanted to watch that sun come up over the red rock spires, because it is magic.  And never wanting to disappoint those men in our little family, we packed up the cereal and left.

And they were right.  The sun coming up over red rock spires is breath taking.

It made that cold cereal taste better than any dutch oven feast ever could.

Ben's Viewing and Funeral Pictures

My awesome cousin, Stephanie Moore  contacted us before the funeral to see if we would like her to take pictures.  We were SO glad that she offered, because worrying about having to bring a camera wasn't something we wanted to do.  We knew we would want pictures of the day, but wanted to be able to completely focus and be present in all that was going on.

We got the pictures back from her, and they are just beautiful.  It is slightly painful to go through them again and relive the days, but it is something we definitely want to remember.

It still seems surreal.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of words.  I'm just going to share some of the pictures Stephanie captured.  It was an amazing viewing and funeral with hundreds of people coming to show their support. 

Thank you to everyone for the kindness shown to our family!

 Sunday Evening Viewing at Russon Brother's Mortuary

While this sanitizer bottle was at the funeral home, we are the ones that put it on this table to be funny...we also wanted to put a note on it that said "No touchy!" in honor of Ben and his person specific hand sanitizer bottles at his house.  He had one that was for everyone to use the minute they walked in, and one that was only for him with a "no touchy" note taped to it - never wanted to risk any germs.  We accidentally came home with that bottle of hand sanitizer, and it's still sitting on the counter - completely untouched. 

 Monday morning viewing before the funeral

The more casual display that wasn't at the viewing the night before.
Some of Ben's awards and hobbies were highlighted.

One of Sara's final goodbye's before they closed the casket

On the way to the cemetery 

First group of Pallbearers carried the casket from the church to the hearse - close friends/cousins.
(Trenton, Kedrick, Dave, Will, Bryan, Layne, Wade, Dan)

My parents walking out to lead the procession in Ben's truck pulling the Scrambler

 At the cemetery

The second group of Pallbearers carried the casket from the hearse to the grave - family members.
(Dave, Ken, Dane Jr., Dane, Marty, Steve, Short-T, Rand)
Honorary Pallbearers were Nicholas, Joel and Jasec

Huge group of people came to the grave.

The lone piper

Marty and Addison had already gone back to the car (Addison had a fever) and Molly was at the Davis's.

Sisters

After the luncheon, the Campbell family gathered in the Relief Society room at the church to visit.  My cousin Stephanie was wise enough to have us snap some pictures.

All the Campbells who came to the funeral.
Thank you for travelling and being there to support us!

We also had an amazing turnout from the Ridges family - but weren't able to get a picture with them.

As strange as it seems to say, it really was a beautiful day.  The spirit was incredibly sweet and strong.  I felt Ben there with us, hugging me at one point - a feeling I never want to forget.  And while the hole he has left in my life feels bigger every day, I know how happy he is.  How wonderful it must be for him to be free of his pain and suffering.

We love you Ben.  Forever and always!

Made up memory: Facial Expression Master

  There have been times in my life where I have been accused of pulling a lot of faces.

And all I have to say is...I learned from the Master.

There are so few pictures where Ben isn't pulling a face, he truly had mastered the art of deforming his face in the name of comedy.

Back in the day, before digital cameras were invented, my parents had no choice to delete a picture and try again when Ben pulled a face.  You were just stuck with whatever happened.

In 1990, my parents wanted to have a nice little photo shoot of the kids together.  I imagine it went a bit like this:

Mom/Dad:  Okay kids, everyone pose in front of the fire place for a nice little picture all together.

*Kids do as told*

Mom/Dad:  Oh, aren't you all the cutest things we've ever seen?  How about you pose with the little girls on the big kids shoulders.  Awwww...darling!  Now, everyone say cheese!

Girls:  CHEESE!
Ben:  FART! (while pulling a horrible face)

Ben with Emily on his shoulders, Aspen with me on her shoulders

Mom/Dad:  BEN!  We don't say that word!  And please, just smile for the picture!
Ben:  Okay.

Mom/Dad:  All right, let's try this again.  But this time, let's try the big kids on the little girl's shoulders...just for kicks and giggles.  All right, you cute things you, everybody, say cheese!

Girls:  CHEESE!
Ben:  BOOGER!  (while still managing to pull a face)

Mom/Dad:  BEN!  Is it too much to ask for you to take one decent picture?
Ben:  As a matter of fact...it is.

Mom/Dad:  Fine.  Everyone just make a silly face, we give up.

Back: Emily, Me.
Front: Ben and Aspen

And there you have it...a Master teaching us his art.

Future Hair Stylist

It seems there is a common thread this week in our life, and it has to do with hair.

Just as Molly finally has hair long enough for a spriggy piggy, Addison decided her own hair was getting too long, and snuck away to the loft with a pair of scissors to remedy the situation.  THANKFULLY Claire caught her and quickly alerted the parents (as she refers to us).

At first I thought Claire may have been exaggerating, because she's known to do that on occasion, but unforuately this time she was being completely honest.  We found Addison with a pair of scissors and a good size pile of hair laying next to her in the loft.

The guilty party:

Note on her right side that it's cut almost all the way up to her hair line.

And cut that high almost all the way back to her ear....yikes.

She did cut some up to the bottom of her ear on this side, but it wasn't as noticeable.

Now, although I like to pretend I'm a hair expert, because I'm capable of trimming my kids hair in a straight line across the bottom, I knew this was a challenge beyond my ability.

So off we went to the salon.

The ladies were super sweet and nice to Addison.  All the stylists came over to see the "cute little 3 year old who cut her own hair." 

After a lot of thinking and getting second opinions, it was decided the only thing we could really do was cut all the hair the same length as she had cut on her left side (the less noticeable side) and turn the REALLY short pieces on her right side into bangs and hope that her curls helped blend the short parts that were just too far back to be considered bangs.

The result:

I think it turned out pretty cute.  Especially with what she gave them to work with.

And while I'm sad that we had to cut off so much of her beautiful curly hair, I'm glad they made it look good.

Once the camera was out, she turned into a giant ham and was being goofy.  

Gosh, I love this girl.

 

What was I thinking??

Even though she sure keeps things hopping, I think we'll keep her.