Processed Blogging Product

I recently went to the store to purchase sliced Tillamook cheese. Unfortunately the Walmart that I was lending my patronage to carries inferior cheese. I perused the assortment of cheeses and found the small difference on the packaging between the fake cheese and the real stuff: the word product. That’s right cheese is good, cheese product is bad. This is blogging product.

For those of you who come to this blog searching for the delicate eloquence of my loving wife, you may be sorely disappointed with this post. I am her charming and muscular husband. Those who have followed this blog since the beginning may remember my stunningly witty posts from the year two thousand and seven. However, since then I have delved into other things and have neglected the blog reading masses. My goal is to try to be a regular contributor from here on out with a little bit of military perspective of our life, seeing how we kind of have something to do with the military at the moment. Now when I say regular I don’t mean three Fiber One bars a day kind of regular, more like two blocks of cheese product a day regular, once a week if you’re lucky.

For those of you who do not know, I am currently stationed at Sheppard Air Force Base in tech school to become a BMET (Bio Medical Equipment Tech). Sheppard AFB is in the armpit of Texas Wichita Falls, Texas. I am already a quarter of the way through my training, but i have already been through training longer than just about anybody else I graduated from Basic training with.

The Army is definitely a different way of living, I'd be lying if I said I haven't already taken on a few of the speech traits of the army and maybe even some southern slang, but I am definitely not fixing to do anything. Or fittin' to do anything. At least not yet.

The jump from Wells Fargo to the U.S. Army was a drastic one, but I must say, so far I'm happy. I'm still writing books, but I don't have nearly as much time on my hands. Things change a bit when you have PT formation every morning at 4:40. Camille has been quite the trooper about all of it and the girls have done surprisingly well. I'm actually more worried about all the people going through withdrawals from losing the favorite daughter/sister and the favorite grandchildren. I doubt anybody misses me that much, even with my new and improved muscles, really, they're that big.

Another change is going from a Utah ward to a mostly military self proclaimed transient ward. There are so many people at the base on TDY and for training that nobody really considers themselves permanent.It's also a little different to hear the bishop tell the congregation that when he asked an eight year old boy a baptismal interview question he was given the response, "I'm sorry bishop, that's classified."

So I'll chuck some deuces until next time, but beware in the future of more blogging product.

Busted

The other day my sister jokingly asked me if living with my husband again - after nearly 5 months apart - was starting to cramp my style.

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I thought about it and realized that now that he was around he was not allowing me to spoil my kids rotten. I mean, hello, he wanted them to go to bed at a normal time, be respectful, not expect a treat and toy every time we went to the store and be nice to him and stuff.

Style totally cramped.

In all reality though I was just too happy to have him around to even think about the things that were lovely that had changed - not that there really were any things nice about the time apart, except that distance really DOES make the heart grow fonder.

But then it happened. I TOTALLY busted myself and put myself in a pickle that only someone who wasn't used to having their husband around to check up on her would do.

On Facebook (in case you aren't in with that crowd) I posted - what I thought to be - a funny/harmless update stating:

Do I order the car seat slip cover I want and ask for forgiveness even though Marty already said "we have a perfectly good car seat, you don't need a slip cover". Or do I suddenly start being a better wife and listen to my husband?

photo of car seat cover from http://www.hipncozy.com/

The comments came in about how I should order it anyway and I was feeling very validated about it. Because as we all know, Facebook is where the answers are! Plus, we all know that asking forgiveness is easier than asking for permission.

The truth of the matter is that I HAD already ordered the cover but was just working on the best ways to butter him up so that he would agree that it was a great idea to get the cover. I know...it was a stretch but I was willing to try.

Of course that night he came home from school and got on the computer...to check his Facebook. I started to panic knowing full well what he would read and that he would have something sarcastic/mean to say:

Negative, negative, negative. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. trying to get my wife to deliberately disobey her loving husband who only says no so he can use the money for more productive things like food and oxygen and maybe a guitar, a used one.

I was totally trapped. He had no idea that I had already ordered it and probably thought he was actually being obeyed! Poor guy.

I laughed it off as he said, "It's a waste, you don't need it. If a slipcover shows up here you're going to have to return it."

He was being somewhat sarcastic and was - at least I think - trying to just torture me and make me feel guilty. But you could see the fire in his eyes that seemed to be saying, "Don't you dare defy me, because I am a SOLDIER for goodness sake and I know some combat moves you'll wish never existed."

I thought I'd give him another day before breaking it to him that I had already ordered the cover.

That or I was going to pretend it never happened, hide the cover when it got to me and wait until I was in labor/about to go under the knife to bear him another child and be like, "Oh, grab the car seat and cover for the hospital" and then deal with explanations. Because who can argue with a woman who is in labor or about to endure surgery to bring another of your seed in to the world? (Yes, I'm hoping he reads this paragraph). Plus then I could totally say, "Oh that? I've had that for a long time".

The next day he came home from school. There was a box on the porch. I knew full well it was the super duper screaming deal of a bouncy chair I had ordered online. He however immediately said, "If that is a car seat slipcover in there you're in big trouble! You'll have to return it."

At this point he was just being mean.

I assured him it wasn't and that it was the bouncy chair...as I held my breath hoping there was no way the lady made the slipcover and shipped it that fast.

Again he added "If a slip cover shows up here you're in trouble."

Apparently my nervous giggle doesn't fool him anymore.

"You already got it didn't you?"

Darn my inability to lie to my husband! Again, I nervously giggled. All I could say was "How was I supposed to know you'd be so opposed to it?"

He just responded with, "Oh brother, you're going to be sorry."

I'm pretty sure that means that while I'm asleep he is going to use my toothbrush to clean the toilet.

Actually I'm pretty sure it means he thinks that he "out ranks" me now. What is the Army teaching these men? We all know the wife still runs the house.

Poor guy...apparently I'm cramping HIS style since being back together.

Lesson learned though. As Marty told me himself "Next time you're going to order something that you know I will think is useless...just don't ask." So basically that means I have free reign to do whatever I want! Etsy here I come!

Are you happy?

The kids were listening to the song "If you're happy and you know it" today, enjoying a little dancing.

Claire got so far as the "if you're happy and you know it stomp your feet" part and then just stomped around in circles the rest of the song while Brielle followed the directions (clap hands, shout hurrah, blink your eyes etc.)

When the song ended Brielle put her hands on her hips and looked at Claire. I was fully expecting her to be upset with Claire for not following the instructions.

Brielle looked at me then and said:

"Well, I guess Claire is happy, she just must not know it."

Reconnected!!

Reconnected and it feels SO good!!

Today the cable company sent a guy out to install our phone. We were very confused as to why they were doing the phone today and the cable and internet tomorrow...some things will never make sense. However when the guy was here he said, "Why wouldn't I do it all at once? I'm here, so might as well." And we have now re-entered the world of internet and cable TV in our home! The kids have already watched an hour of cartoons and I have spent an equal amount of time on the internet...am I not so awesome?! Don't worry...we're just so excited we can't stand it, we will not let this become a habit.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a couple pictures of the girls and how they are adjusting to life here in Texas.

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Claire has fallen in love with the backyard....particularly the dirt pile you can see behind her.In case you didn't see the joy she had in the dirt well enough...Brielle has upped her fashionista moments and kept asking me to take her picture while she posed. She also chose the headband as her perfect accessory for the day, I personally think she looks smashing!Here is the joy this child felt over the new little puppy we had.

Yes...HAD. Unfortunately due to some unforeseen allergies (okay, really I'm just allergic to Texas but it did put me over the edge) and a bit of a wake up call, our little puppy only lasted in our house 2 days before we admitted defeat. He whined a lot...which I can't blame the poor guy, he had been living with a TON of dogs and then - BAM - all alone in a cage. It hit me one day while listening to him whine that in a little less than 2 months we will have a newborn in our home and that between crying and puppy whining I was pretty sure I'd lose my mind.

The girls have accepted it well. We told Brielle that the puppy had just come to have a sleepover with us and to have some fun but that he was crying so much because he really needed to go back to be with his mommy.

Marty then promised her that if she worked hard and filled up her GIANT piggy bank with gold dollars he will take her to Disneyland when it's full. Poor thing...she has two gold dollars, I'm pretty sure it's going to take a few hundred at least to fill it up. But it seems to be just the distraction she was in need of.

So that about sums it up. Besides the multiple bug bites (seriously, what's with all the bugs?!) things are going well. I am glad we are back in business here with the computer and internet and will now begin a little bit of updating WITH pictures....of course after we finish unpacking and actually TAKE the pictures. :)