I'm having a very "poor me" day today....actually it started last night after a fun girls night.
Maybe it was because after watching a chick flick I wished for nothing more than my amazing prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet.
Maybe it was going to a wedding shower and answering all the questions about where Marty is, how long he's been gone, how long he has left, how pregnant I am, how I am managing to not go insane...normally the questions don't bother me, but for some reason last night it really emphasized how hard what I am doing really is.
Maybe it was coming home to a pigsty of a house with no one to lean on or support me.
Maybe it's that I had to curl up in my big bed all alone and try not to think about the empty space next to me.
Maybe it was being woken up multiple times during the night by a child who decided sleep was overrated.
Maybe it's the touch of insomnia I've had this pregnancy making it so I never feel rested.
Maybe it is because Michael Jackson died.
Whatever the reason (however, I doubt it's because of Michael Jackson) I can't seem to snap out of it.
I am CRAVING a vacation, more so than I have been craving nacho cheese Doritos every night for the last two weeks. I just feel the need to get away from the every day same old routine, be away from everything that reminds me of what I am doing without.
The problem is I don't think being alone away from home is going to help.
I feel like my thoughts are very scattered, but today, this is how I feel after my 7 weeks of doing this day in and day out. I'm exhausted, drained, emotional.
The majority of the days I have been able to put on the happy face and go along with life. But I just don't feel like I can muster that up today.
I'm sure tomorrow I will feel fine, and if not, at least I (hopefully) get to talk to Marty on Sunday for a little bit. That's what keeps me going.
Three more weeks of this.
Three more weeks until I get to see my husband again.
Three more weeks of fake it until I make it.
9 comments:
I'm so sorry. we all have our hard days but i've never been away from my hubby for longer than a week so i have no idea what you're going through. I hope these last three weeks goes by speedy fast!
I hope this day turns around. We all have them! Boy do I have them more often than not! Anyway. Its normal. Just know others know what you are going through. Find strength in that! Youre great. hang in there.
Oh, Camille! I am sending lots of love and happy thoughts your way. Prayers, too. I know it can't be easy. You are doing so well.
You are totally entitled to these feelings. It's okay to have down days and to vent, etc. I hope the 20 days left pass quickly. Concentrate on the reunion that you get to experience. That moment will be splendid!!!
P.S. you're hilarious even when you're somewhat down...
I'm so sorry! Honestly, if you need anything let me know! I know we haven't actually met in person, but I would be happy to come help you any time! We could even grab a bunch of girls and go out to dinner or something! Things will get better! I promise!:)
Come visit me! I may be working, but we have a pool and park!! I'm sorry things are so hard right now, I wish I could be there to help out more, but know that we're thinking about you and praying for you guys.
Yeah where are you living. I thought that you were out of state.
Yikes!! Let's play! My number is 801-643-4914
You probably didn't know I was blog stalking you, but I am. Your blog is very funny (usually). So on to my comment. You can do it! Look at the positive side of the situation, you have one less person to cook for, you can watch whatever you want on TV, you can rent whatever you want, you can go anywhere at anytime (granted it is 24/7 kids in tow), etc. Soon you will adjust and when you reunite you will have to re-adjust all over again.
Sorry to hear it's so tough.
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